Remember this: 165°F for safety, but cook to 170°F if you’re afraid of your mother-in-law’s judgment. The USDA says 165°F, but many folks swear by 170°F for breast meat because it "looks done." That’s a lie. 170°F is a one-way ticket to Dry County. Arm yourself with a thermometer, and tell your mother-in-law the FDA backs you up. She can’t argue with science… or your charming wit.
Now go forth and cook that bird. And if all else fails, order pizza. Your health—and your sense of humor—will thank you.