Eat real food. No packages with more than five ingredients. Focus on plants: dark greens, bright berries, and weird squashes. Swamp your plate with color. It looks like a unicorn sneezed, and that’s a good thing.
Fun fact: beets are nature’s Red Bull. They boost blood flow and make your pee turn pink. Don’t panic. That’s the detox dance happening. You are now officially magical.
The "Glug" Rule
Start every morning with a tall glass of warm water. Add a little apple cider vinegar (with the "mother"). It tastes like angry apple juice. But it wakes up your digestion like a tiny grizzly bear. Hold your nose if you must.
Wait thirty minutes before eating. This gives your gut a quiet moment. It’s like meditation, but with burps.
