So there you have it. Expiration dates on water aren’t a lie, but they’re also not a death sentence. They’re a gentle nudge from a manufacturer who’s afraid of lawsuits. Water lasts forever. The bottle lasts until it gets bored.
Drink it, don’t overthink it, and please keep your bottles out of the sun. Now go fetch that dusty bottle from your pantry. I promise it won’t bite. Probably. Cheers.