If you're planning a trip, here's a quick survival guide. First, book your accommodation in Loutraki or Malia to be close to the action. Second, avoid the neon nightclubs if you want a quiet visit. The real magic is in the daytime: rent a scooter and drive to the quieter beaches like Stalis Beach. You'll find the exact spot where the lads tried to snorkel and only found seaweed. Third, try the food. The gyros in Crete are life-changing, and definitely better than the mystery meat Jay eats in the film.
Pro tip for travelers: Bring a waterproof camera. The Greek sun is brutal, and the sea is crystal clear. You'll want to capture your own "I'm a man now" moment, even if it's just a photo of you holding a cocktail that looks suspiciously like a slushy. Also, don't be that person who tries to recreate the "bus jump" scene. The locals have seen it done, and it never ends well.
