You know the setup by heart. The dark blue backdrop. The two Union Jacks flanking him. The very serious ministerial box on the podium. Starmer will walk in, look at the camera for a beat longer than comfortable, and then sigh. It’s a performance, a ritual, a piece of theater.
And we, the audience, are just sitting there, checking our watches. “Is this worth ordering a takeaway for?” Usually, the answer is yes, because the nation deserves curry while our leader explains why the trains are still on fire.
How to Survive the Wait
Don’t do what I did, my friend. Do not sit refreshing BBC News on your phone. You’ll just get a headache. Instead, set a loose alarm for 7:00 PM. If he hasn’t spoken by 7:15, he’s probably stuck in an antechamber with a biscuit and a red box.
Sir Keir Starmer to address nation today after Donald Trump warning
Also, never trust the “speculative” timings from political podcasts. They are just guessing. I heard one pundit say “around half-past tea time.” Half-past tea time? What is that, 4:45? 5:15? It’s maddening.
