Here’s the foolproof method: open your phone, go to the Lions’ official website, and look for the schedule. Ignore the pop-ups about jerseys and season tickets. Scroll down, find today’s date, and read the big bold numbers. If you see “TBD,” start praying—and maybe set an alarm for 10 AM to re-check.
You can also ask your smart speaker: “Hey, Alexa, what time is the Lions game today?” She’ll probably tell you the weather first, then say, “I’m not sure,” before playing a jaunty tune. Or you can just call your dad, because he always knows. Dads are the original Google, just with more grumbling about the offensive line.
The One Thing to Remember
Whatever time it is, the game will start exactly when you’re in the bathroom. That’s the rule—Murphy’s Law applied to football. You’ll miss a touchdown because you were getting a second beer. It’s inevitable. So plan your bathroom breaks for commercial breaks, and always record the game just in case.
And if you still can’t find the time? Don’t sweat it. Just show up at the local bar, wear a Lions hat, and someone will shout the kickoff time at you like a town crier. The Lions community is a loud, loyal, slightly anxious bunch—and we all share the same struggle. We’ll figure it out together, probably with a side of buffalo sauce and a groan.
