Not at all! You can get a top-shelf handle, but it’ll cost you—think $50 to $100 for a good whiskey or tequila. Usually, though, a handle is the domain of value brands: the ones with names that sound like a car part or a street corner. You know, “Mickey’s Bridge” vodka or “Old Grand-Dad” bourbon. They’re not fancy, but they get the job done.
I once saw a guy buy a handle of pricey Japanese whiskey for his birthday, and honestly, it felt wrong. It’s like putting a tuxedo on a bulldog—everyone’s confused. A handle should feel unpretentious. It’s the friend who shows up with pizza, not avocado toast.
The Final Sip
So, next time you see a handle of liquor at a store or on a counter, give it a little nod of respect. It’s not trying to be your finest moment—it’s just there to help you have a few decent ones. Just remember: the handle may be plastic, but the hangover is real. Drink responsibly, or at least have a friend who’ll laugh with you as you blame the bottle.
And if you ever find yourself staring at an empty handle, wondering how it happened? Don’t worry. We’ve all been there. It’s called life with the volume turned up.
