There are two types of bottled water. There’s the “store brand” that comes in a bottle that looks sad, like it just got dumped. It’s usually next to the off-brand soda that tastes like sadness and regret.
Then there’s the “prestige” water in a glass bottle. It costs more than a sandwich. You buy it once for a train ride to look sophisticated, then you nervously hold it so you don’t break it and cry over the $8 loss.
Top Bottled Water Brands Ranking
Some brands even put the pH level on the bottle, as if I’m a chemistry teacher dying of thirst. I don’t want my water to have a “profile.” I want it to be wet and not taste like my neighbor’s pool filter.
The Plastic Paradox
We all know the guilt. You finish the bottle, you look at the recycling bin, and you feel a twinge of eco-anxiety. But you also feel mighty because you remembered to recycle. It’s the little victories.
Commercially bottled water is the necessary evil of modern life. It’s like having a spare tire. You don’t want to need it, you know it’s wasteful, but when you’re stranded on the highway of thirst, you’re glad it’s there.