You might think, “So what? Guys are just competitive.” True, but here’s the thing: these contests cost us all something. They make genuine connection harder. When everyone is busy performing, who is actually listening?
These games put pressure on men to never show weakness. That’s why a guy might refuse to ask for help, even when he’s drowning. It’s why he might mock another man’s emotions. The performative contest turns vulnerability into a liability.
And for everyone else? It’s exhausting. You end up in conversations where you’re not talking to a person, but to an ego in armor. Wouldn’t it be nicer to just have a real chat without the soundtrack of a drumroll?
The Fun Part: You Can See Through It
Here’s the good news. Once you notice the pattern, it becomes hilarious to watch. You’ll spot the guy at the gym loudly dropping his weights. You’ll see the coworker who name-drops just to puff up his chest. It turns into a little comedy show.
Performative males take over campus in contest Friday - The Baylor Lariat
You can even play with it gently. When a friend starts a contest about who has the most stress, just smile and say, “Wow, that sounds awful. Want to talk about something fun instead?” You break the spell. You show there’s another way to be.
The real power move is opting out of the contest entirely. That takes more confidence than winning it. It says, “I don’t need your approval. I’m fine right here.” And that is genuinely attractive.
