Back in 1536, when he was 44, Henry took a nasty fall while jousting. He was fully armoured, so his horse landed right on top of him. He lay there for hours before anyone could get him out.
That injury never healed properly. He got a chronic ulcer on his thigh that would burst open, leak pus, and then close up again. Imagine a blister that won’t pop, but also won’t stop hurting—except it’s the size of a dinner plate.
This leg wound basically became his pesky flatmate that never paid rent. It would flare up, get infected, and then he’d get better for a while, only for it to come roaring back. Sounds familiar to anyone with a dodgy knee or back pain, right?
The Gout: A King’s Fancy Ailment
On top of the leg, Henry had gout. This is the disease rich people get from eating too much red meat and drinking too much wine. His diet was basically a non-stop Tudor barbecue.
Gout makes your joints feel like they’re being stabbed with hot glass. Henry could barely hold a fork, let alone lift a sword. He’d sit there, screaming in pain, while his cooks brought him another roasted swan.
PPT - The Tudor Monarchy PowerPoint Presentation, free download - ID
It’s a bit like when you eat too many hot wings during a football game and regret it the next morning—except your regret lasts ten years and involves a crown.
