Unless you’re living on the planet Hoth, this cold weather will break. Historical data says that by mid-March, the sun’s angle is strong enough to melt even stubborn snow. That’s not a joke—it’s simple geometry. The earth tilts, the days get longer, and eventually, the cold loses its grip.
In the meantime, remember that your car battery dies faster in cold weather (by about 35% efficiency loss), so maybe don’t wait until 8 AM to start it. And if someone asks, “How long will this last?” just shrug and say, “Until the jet stream gets therapy.” Then offer them a blanket and a stiff drink. That’s how real friendships survive winter.
Stay warm, you magnificent, shivering human. Spring is coming—eventually. Probably. No promises.
