Living near one has taught me that we’re all a little weird with food. I stress-eat carbs; they stress-eat entire cows. It’s a spectrum, and honestly, I respect the audacity.
Carl never gets sick. He claims he hasn’t had a cold in years. I think it’s because no virus has the guts to enter a body that smells like a grill. That, or the sheer density of protein just scares the germs away.
So next time you see someone ordering a double burger without the bun, hold your judgment. They’re not missing anything. They’re just on a different adventure—one where the only food group is “yes, and please make it rare.”
And who knows? Maybe they’re onto something. Or maybe they’re just really, really committed to the bit. Either way, pass the steak sauce. I think I’m ready for one bite.
