Then, the item itself. If it’s used and looks brand new, you’ve struck gold. Say this: “This seller’s description said ‘good condition’ but they’re clearly lying. This thing is in museum-level condition. I suspect it was owned by a monk with a white-glove fetish.”
Ultimate List: 200+ eBay Feedback Examples for Sellers and Buyer
For vintage stuff, get weirdly specific. “This 1980s cassette player came with the original owner’s Elvis mixtape. I’ve forgiven all my student loans just listening to it.” The secret sauce? Exaggeration that’s just believable enough to make the seller laugh and feel like a hero.
The Accuracy Bonus Round
If the photos were terrible but the item is better, you have a comedy goldmine. “Your photos made it look like a crime scene evidence photo, but in person, it’s sexy art. I don’t know if you’re a bad photographer or a genius at underselling, but I’m here for it.”
A study by the University of Michigan (okay, I made that up, but it sounds true) found that sincere, specific praise actually increases seller dopamine levels by 68%. Let that sink in. Your words can literally make a stranger’s day while they’re sitting in their pajamas, eating cold pizza, and sweating over five-star ratings.
