Pulling up to the Premier Inn Bournemouth Ferndown Hotel feels like coming home to a place you’ve never been. The building looks like it was designed by a committee that feared fun—and that’s exactly why we love it. You won’t find any creepy oil paintings of dead aristocrats here; just clean carpets and the faint smell of industrial-strength detergent.
It sits proudly in Ferndown, a town so quiet that the local wildlife holds meetings to discuss traffic. Pro tip: If you see a tumbleweed roll by, just wave—it’s a local celebrity. The car park is vast, probably bigger than some European micro-nations, so no need to parallel park like a deranged circus performer.
The Room: A Cube of Comfort
Unlocking your room is like opening a Pandora’s box of beige. But here’s the surprise: that beige is luxuriously comfortable. The bed is officially known as the “Hypnos” bed, which sounds like a Greek god of naps, and it definitely earns that title. You will sink into it like a marshmallow into hot chocolate, and you will not emerge until dawn.
The TV has Freeview, which is perfect for watching that one show you’ve already seen three times. The bathroom is a glowing white laboratory where the shower pressure could sandblast paint off a boat. Fun fact: Premier Inn claims their rooms are designed to give you a “great night’s sleep,” and they’re alarmingly successful—scientists should study the curtains.
