So, is tap water a pure substance? Only if you define “pure” as “contains trace amounts of lithium, caffeine, and the ghost of a Tylenol someone flushed in 1997.” Otherwise, it’s a glorious, messy mixture—like a smoothie, but less tasty and more regulatory.
If you really want pure water, you’d need lab-grade distilled H₂O. It tastes like regret and sadness, and it actually leaches minerals from your body. Drink that for a week, and you’ll beg for a glass of tap water that tastes vaguely of swimming pool and tiny rocks.
So next time you fill a glass, raise it to the mixture. It might have plastic, medicine, and a hint of municipal hubris, but it’s your mixture. And honestly, the alternative—drinking from a bottle that costs more than gas—is just embarrassing.
Cheers. Now go hydrate, you glorious, slightly-contaminated human.
