Indianapolis is a weird, wonderful town. We have the Mile Square, the 500 Festival, and a non-emergency number that handles your weird. It’s a reflection of our collective grit: we deal with the big stuff loudly, and the small stuff with a phone call.
So next time you see a car parked on a lawn (yes, that’s a thing here), don’t rage. Don’t post on Nextdoor. Just dial 317-327-3811. You’ll feel instantly better. Like you’ve officially done something.
And if you call about a goose in a tutu, please report back to me. I want to know if they have a code for that. Spoiler: they don’t, but they’ll probably invent one.
That’s the magic. The IMPD Non-Emergency Number is the city’s quiet apology for all the chaos it can’t fix. It’s a listening ear. And it’s always open.
Now go forth. Be annoying (to the line, not the operator). Save that number. Your future self—trapped behind a parked Amazon van at midnight—will thank you.
