You know it’s time when the water pours out slower than a turtle on sleeping pills. That means the pores are clogged with the filth you’re trying to avoid. You are now drinking through a barrier of your own neglect.
If you see any black specks floating in your glass, do not panic. Those are not “designer minerals.” That is carbon dust from the filter disintegrating. It’s basically filter guts. You are drinking the filter itself. Nice job.
And if your water smells like swamp, fish, or your gym bag? Throw the whole pitcher away. Seriously. Buy a new one. You’ve created a biological weapon in your kitchen. The EPA would like a word.
