So here’s your takeaway: for an average adult, eating 20 to 30 cherry seeds (chewed) might give you a mild stomach ache. 500 plus might make you feel woozy. 1,500 to 2,000 will make you famous, but only posthumously—and on a list of “stupidest ways to die.” You’d have to sit there cracking pits for hours, like a sadistic squirrel, to reach that level. Life is too short for that. Eat your cherries, spit the pits into a napkin, and laugh at the scare headlines. The only thing dangerous about a cherry is the pit-stained smile you’ll get from a toddler who just discovered how sticky they are.
And if you’re still paranoid? Just buy pitted cherries. It’s $2 extra, and your sanity is worth way more than that. Now go make a cobbler. You’ll survive it.
