Here’s the truth: steaming cauliflower takes between 5 and 8 minutes, but that’s like saying a movie is “about two hours” when you’re sitting through a sequel nobody asked for. The exact time depends on how you cut it—and your definition of “done.”
If you’re aiming for tender but with some bite (the Goldilocks of cauliflower), aim for 5 minutes for small florets. For larger chunks that look like they’ve been working out, give them 7 to 8 minutes. And if you want it so soft it could pass for mashed potatoes at a disguise party, push it to 10 minutes—but do not, I repeat, do not let it go to 12. That’s how you summon the grim reaper of vegetables.
