Officially, the drive is around 1,312 miles if you take the most direct route, which is I-20 East to I-10 East. But who are we kidding? Direct in this case still means crossing five states—Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida. You go from cowboy boots to alligator swamps in the span of a single car’s gas tank.
According to Google Maps, you’re looking at about 18 to 20 hours of pure driving. That’s not counting the three bathroom breaks you’ll take because you drank a giant soda in Shreveport, or the thirty minutes you’ll spend arguing over which gas station has the cleanest restroom. By the way, no gas station on this route has a clean restroom after hour twelve.
The Snack Equation
To survive this drive, you need to apply the Snack-to-Mile Ratio. That’s one bag of chips per each state line, plus an extra bag for when you hit the “I want to turn back” moment around Mobile, Alabama. I once did this trip with a friend who packed only beef jerky and Diet Coke. By hour seven, he was chewing on his own seatbelt. Don’t be that person.
You’ll also discover that road food becomes a personality test. In Louisiana, you’ll swear you’re stopping for a po’boy, but you’ll end up at a Dairy Queen because the line at the local joint looked “too long.” And that’s okay. The universal truth of this drive is that you will eat a gas station hot dog at 2 AM and promise yourself you’ll never do it again. You will do it again.
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