Let’s simplify it. If you’re reading this before your trip: skip the ticket machine entirely. Download Google Pay or Apple Pay, link your bank card, and just tap your phone at the gate. That’s it. The hard part is over.
If you’re already at the station and panicking: find a ticket machine, select “Get new Oyster,” swipe your card, take the Oyster, and tap it at the gate. Takes two minutes, max.
Remember: the tube is not a scary monster. It’s just a very punctual, slightly grumpy subway system. And once you master the ticket, you’ll feel like you’ve unlocked a secret level of London. Now go explore—and for heaven’s sake, stand on the right on the escalator.
