First, pre-pay for a streaming service now. Don’t be the person who fumbles with a free trial at 1:55 AM. I’ve been that person. It ends with you watching a loading circle for ten minutes while your neighbour’s lights flicker in celebration.
Second, stock up on snacks that don’t require a microwave. Crisps, biscuits, and maybe a family-sized bag of Maltesers. You don’t want to be crunching loudly during a tense free kick. Trust me—your spouse will remember that crunch for years.
Finally, communicate with your loved ones. A simple, “I’ll be a zombie for two weeks, but I’ll still love you” goes a long way. My wife already knows that from June 15th to July 12th, I’m basically a houseplant that occasionally shouts at a TV.
So, there we have it. The fixtures are out, the times are set, and our sleep patterns are officially doomed. But that’s okay. Because come June, we’ll all be gathered around screens, hoping for a miracle, a penalty save, or at least a decent cup of tea at 3 in the morning. Here’s to the weird, wonderful, and utterly daft joy of World Cup football. It’s coming home—or at least, it’s coming on at a very inconvenient hour.
