But imagine, just for a moment, if he did. What would it be called? “The Belligerent Bull”? “The Arguing Aardvark”? You’d walk in, and the sign would read: “We reserve the right to argue with you about the correct way to pour a Guinness.” The staff would wear tiny bow ties and look perpetually irritated, like they’ve just been told their football team lost to a pub league.
The menu would be carnage. A “Meghan’s Revenge” burger (served with a side of cold tea), a “Wall of Silence” salad (mostly lettuce, zero dressing, because you wouldn’t get it), and a “Prince Harry’s Apology” steak—which is just a raw potato with a toothpick in it. The wine list? Two options: “Red and angry” or “White and condescending.”
Rumors That Spread Faster Than A Pub Bladder
So why does this rumor even exist? Partly because Piers is so loud, so ubiquitous, that people assume he owns everything loud and ubiquitous—like a Wetherspoons or a megaphone. In 2026, a viral tweet claimed he’d bought a pub in his hometown of Cranleigh, Surrey. The tweet said he’d renamed it “The Cancel Culture Arms.” It was complete fiction, but it spread like spilled beer on a sticky floor.
Then there’s his infamous feud with James Corden. Remember when they argued about, well, everything? Someone joked that they should settle it in a pub fight. Corden would grab a bread basket; Piers would brandish a quill. The rumor grew legs. But no, Piers Morgan doesn’t own a pub—he owns a soapbox, and it’s parked outside every television studio in London.
Little Thurlow pub The Cock Inn closed due to 'astronomical energy costs'
