Here’s how to win at the bag policy: leave everything in your car except your phone, keys, and ID. Put those in your pockets. If you must bring a bag, buy a clear one on Amazon for $5. Do not buy the “fashionable” clear bag with gold zippers—security will still search it, but you’ll look fancy while they do it.
Also, get there early. The bag-check line at DKR can rival the line to see the new Star Wars movie on opening night. Only smelly. When you finally get through, you will feel like a victorious warrior who has conquered the bureaucratic wasteland. Then you’ll find your seat, hear the crowd roar, and remember: it was totally worth it.
Just don’t forget the clear bag. Your soul may be opaque, but your bag policy must be transparent.
