Here’s your cheat sheet: Seltzer = plain fizz. Club soda = fizz with a tiny salt kiss. You can swap them in a pinch, but purists will judge you silently. (I won’t, though. I’m too busy drinking my seltzer out of a wine glass.)
Both are infinitely better than flat water, which is basically just disappointed water. So don’t stress. Pick one. Shake it (metaphorically). Drink it. Be happy.
And remember: Whether you choose club soda or seltzer, you’re still choosing bubbles. And bubbles are always a good idea. Life is too short for flat drinks and tough conversations. So go forth, fizz with confidence, and enjoy your crisp, sparkling existence.
P.S. If anyone argues with you about this at a party? Hand them a glass of each, blindfold them, and ask them to guess. They’ll probably fail. Then you’ll have a story—and a new friend who respects your bubbly wisdom.
