Crosbie Matthew has been handling the grim reaper’s paperwork for over 150 years. That’s right—they’ve been burying people since before the lightbulb was a hit. Think about that: your great-great-grandparents probably used this same firm to launch their final vacation.
They’ve seen every fashion trend, from top hats to TikTok. And they’re still here, which means they’ve figured out how to make a terrible day a little less terrible. It’s like having a professional bouncer for the pearly gates, but one who offers you a cup of tea first.
The “You’re Not Dead Yet” Customer Service
Here’s the surprising thing: most of their customers aren’t even dead yet. Pre-planning is a massive part of their business. It’s like booking a flight to oblivion, but you get to choose the legroom and whether you want the window seat (or, you know, the oak casket).
Honestly, planning your own funeral while you’re still alive is the ultimate power move. You can specify no sad songs and everyone wears Hawaiian shirts. Crosbie Matthew won’t judge you—they’ve probably heard weirder requests, like “please bury me with my collection of garden gnomes.”
