Putney is for people who almost made it to Fulham. It’s the participation trophy of South West London.
Best roast: “You call it ‘village living.’ I call it a charity shop with a pub.” The delusion is strong.
Another: “You’re always ‘heading up to town.’ You mean you’re getting a 37 bus to the Odeon.” Humble their commute.
Richmond’s Royal Reality Check
Richmond thinks it’s a Disney movie. Deer, river, rich people. It’s cute. It’s also ridiculous.
London's Best Sunday Roasts - A Guide With All The Trimmings
Roast: “You’re not ‘countryside adjacent.’ You’re a five-minute walk from a Tesco Express.” That ruins the fantasy.
Or: “Your kids go to a ‘forest school.’ They learn moss. My kid goes to a real school. He can count.” The parenting roast always lands.
