First off, the batter should be a golden, lacy armour, not a soggy duvet. A good pub uses a mix of flour and fizzy beer (I’m looking at you, a nice pale ale) to get that airy crunch. If you bite in and the fish slides out like a gymnast, you’re in trouble. Pro tip: ask the bartender if they fry to order. If they hesitate, run.
The chips need to be chunky, fluffy inside, and twice-fried. Skinny fries are for burgers. These are proper chips—the kind that soak up malt vinegar without turning to mush. And the fish? Fresh cod or haddock, thick enough to flake, not thin enough to see through. I once had a pub serve me fish so thin it looked like a transparent flapjack. Never again.
