So, here’s your cheat sheet. For budget and sanity: take the National Express coach. For speed with a view: take the Tube + Thameslink. For flexing on your friends: take the Heathrow Express + taxi. Your call.
And remember: you’re not stupid for needing to do this. You’re just a traveler playing the game. The airport transfer game. And now you know the cheat codes. Go forth, enjoy your layover, and maybe grab a Pret a Manger at Gatwick. You’ve earned it.
